Monday, September 15, 2008
i'm starting to worry about this friday's piano exam... =( i didn't felt a thing last week but i'm starting to feel the urgency again today as i practise my piano awhile ago...i totally cannot make it...all along i know i will fail, but i just don't want to fail too badly...it doesn't reflect well on me nevermind, i think i'll be ruining my teacher's reputation too...haizz....sian...i've been thinking if i should just hack care the exam and give it a miss...but i know i'll be letting many people down...friends have been telling me to give it a try no matter what, no try you never know, that's what they say.... =( BUT i'm afraid to know the results after trying....i wish the results slip will never be return to me if i fail....if i pass, of cause it'll be a MIRACLE....but then, it'll never happen larz...so i don't pin any hope for it...as long as don't get below 90??? btw, total score is 150...to pass, i need to get at least 100...for the past few attempts, i've been getting 98 and 97...so sickening....to score distinction, need at least 130 and for merit it's at least 120....so far, all just pass....which makes me a super duper lousy pianist...haizz...
feeling rather down since i got home...they quarrelled once again and having a cold war now...i seriously wonder if people do yearn for 2nd courtship as they grow older...or maybe hope that their partners will be as sweet as the past...cos as times go by, couples tend to take one and another for granted...so of cause the taken for granted one will complain and nag...then they'll start to compare the past with the present...i do complain to dear at times too that he isn't as sweet as the past, but normally i'll do it in a joking manner....i'm wondering in maybe 10-15yrs down the road, will i be like them??? it became no joking manner but will always end up with tears and threats....it's scary to see how a lovely couple who goes everywhere together all these years have a 360 degrees turn in events....i hope i won't fall in the same foot steps...
someone once told me that dear's name isn't good cos it'll cost him to have a failed marriage and career....when i heard this, of cause i freaked out....and i kept asking dear if he'll like to have his name change...in the end, dear told me that he believe that his fate is within his own hands and told me not to think too much...which i have to agree but worry still that there might be a little possibility of that happening...haizz....at times, knowing too much about the future really isn't good when things you hear are negative....that's why till date, i still do not dare to have my fortunes told...even our wedding dates are not auspicious dates calculated base on our birth dates...
96 days more...missing him so much...
The Diva was here at
10:50 PM
Name : Pearline aka AhPearl