Friday, April 25, 2008
had a tiring day...not physically but mentally...
was really really angry with the events exec of our rom venue this noon...lots of problems which i really am tired of mentioning...if i can forego the deposit we've paid, i WOULD and change my rom venue...after signing the contract and paying the deposit, more and more minor little things start to crop up which is making me really vexed...this may have caused me to be really angry and worried, but i'm even more angry, worried, sad and hurt over something else...can say not angry but more like sad and totally hurt...it was all because of a misunderstanding...
galz...i didn't know what i've said have actually lead to such misunderstanding...my apologies.
it has been 11 years of friendship...i didn't know it could be so fragile..i thought any unhappiness or sadness among us will be resolve by speaking out directly and be sought on the spot rather than let it bottle up in our hearts and left everyone guessing. you girls have been my sisters for so long and i'll always speak my mind and share my problems and happiness with you...so i didn't know why this time round things isn't done likewise...maybe you had your own reasons...i do not know..but it's ok...
have some things to clarify...
1. on the day i shared my thoughts about after marriage life with one of you, i was equally afraid that we'll drift further apart...never meant to mean anything like after marriage, i'll be drawing a line between you girls...never cross my mind before...we'll still meet as like before...even before sam propose, my weekends are revolved around him and weekdays around my family and sometimes i do meet up with you girls although not most of the time. are you girls thinking that my life is revolving around him only? yes, i may not meet up with you girls as often but still i do meet you all once in awhile and we do msn or chat over the phone right? all along you all have known that sam is always in one of my top priority...you've known me for 11 years my dear...you all should have known...after marriage, it'll still be like before...why not? maybe the words i've used that day caused the misunderstanding, i'm really really sorry.........
2. on the day we met for steamboat, noon i've asked you girls along if you'll like to go with me for my rom dress fitting so that you girls can give me some comments. but you girls had earlier made appt with each other to go shopping...thou i was alittle upset, but it's ok cause i mention to you girls about it at the last minute...
the fitting ended really much earlier than expected cause of the limited gowns they have for rom. so yap, went shopping with sam for his rom clothes since there's still time before we'll proceed to the rom venue for our appt. and we met you girls in suntec by coincidence and somehow i felt an instance of awkwardness in our conversation. ok this aside, so we've actually decided to have the meeting with the events exec and at the same time stay for sunset to find out how dark the place is going to be for our rom day as we'll not know how's it going to be like with the limited lightings they have there, but we decided to forego it and head down for steamboat dinner with you girls knowing that sunday i'm not able to make it for the birthday outing you all have planned. it was actually pre-planned to watch sunset for this reason long before you girls asked me out...so it's not like what you girls think that i'm turning down dinner invitation because i want to watch sunset with sam...
after dinner, we didn't go along for your outing as we've things planned after that...i'm sorry~
3. i didn't use rom preparation as an excuse for not meeting you girls. i believe you girls are unhappy how come i still can go genting at this point of time. i need a break~ it's a short short trip...just 2D1N...this trip came at the right time when i need to cool myself down from the problems the events exec is giving me...it really made me real angry and frustrated...and i had none of you girls to talk to as i sensed something really wrong with our friendship already...the way i replied you when i meant i can't make it on sunday may sound abit hush, i'm sorry again...i was on the phone with a customer when i was replying your sms and before i knew, i sent the sms without completing it...that's why i called you to try explain further but you sounded unhappy so i decided not to say much and moreover, i was in a crowded bus so it was kinda hard to talk too...
i hope the above all explains all the minor simple little things i've said or done that have caused the misunderstanding...i hope you girls don't think that all these are excuses...i sincerely didn't mean to say anything hurtful or cause any sadness...
last wednesday, a few of us met up for shopping....when i met you girls, immediately i felt awkward...you girls no longer give me the feeling that i'm part of your friends anymore...i don't feel welcome at all at the beginning...honestly, i even secretly sms sam telling him that i feel out of place in the midst of our shopping...subsequently, i tried to blend in and luckily everything was normal after awhile...i enjoyed that small shopping trip of ours...
The Diva was here at
8:13 PM
Name : Pearline aka AhPearl